On the day I tried on my bonding gown, my sister Celeste said she wanted to help me decide.When I stepped out of the fitting room, Celeste was adjusting the silver-patterned collar pin for Ronan Blackridge, the Alpha no wolf in Blackridge Pack dared defy—the man I was supposed to bond with. I had just opened my mouth to say, “Let me,” when the stylist smiled and stepped toward Celeste.“This way, future Luna. Let’s try your styling over here.” I stopped short. Ronan did not correct her. Celeste only smiled shyly and leaned into him. My childhood sweetheart, Kieran, walked past me, lifted his camera, and started taking pictures of them. I stood there, stunned, like an outsider. Most of Kieran’s shots were of Celeste and Ronan. There wasn’t a single frame of me, the woman who was actually supposed to stand beside him under the full moon. Celeste sounded so natural, as if she were the one about to become Luna. “Elowen, bring me that bouquet.” When Ronan saw that I was silent, he came over and gently took the flowers from my hands. Those golden eyes of his, eyes that had once silenced rebellious wolves in the Elders’ Hall, were unusually soft now. “Elowen, why are you spacing out? Go pick the invitation design first. I’ll come over after we finish the photos.” Kieran lowered the camera just enough to show one eye from behind the lens. “Elowen, move two steps to the side. You’re blocking the light.” I moved away without a word and stood in the corner. In that moment, I finally understood how unnecessary I was. If this ceremony didn’t need me, then I wouldn’t be there. ... I quietly picked up my bag from the shoe bench and pushed the door open. The wind chime rang once. No one called after me. I looked back. Celeste was turning in front of the mirror, and Ronan stood behind her, fixing the bow at her waist. Kieran held up his camera. “Yes, yes, that angle. Perfect.” The shutter clicked five or six times in a row. I turned around and walked out of the store. When I got into the car, my phone screen lit up. It was a message from the bonding ceremony planner. Miss Ashborne, the ceremony is coming up soon. Have you chosen the invitation design? Before I could reply, another message came in. Or you could let your sister choose for you. She has excellent taste. The car was silent. So quiet that I could hear myself breathing. One breath after another, as if I were counting something. What was I counting? The number of times I had been forgotten in this relationship? I typed three words and sent them. Whatever she wants. And I meant it. Whatever Celeste wanted. In the end, Ronan would listen to her anyway. The planner replied almost instantly. Got it. Thank you. I stared at those words and thought the planner must have been relieved. The bride’s decisions were always being changed. They were probably tired of revising the plans over and over, too. It was easier to let my sister decide for me. Before I could put my phone down, messages kept popping up. Kieran was uploading photos to the group chat one after another. I opened one of them. His composition was beautiful. Light fell across their faces. Ronan wore a black ceremonial suit with the silver wolf emblem of Blackridge Pack pinned to his shoulder, while my sister Celeste leaned against him as if they were the lovers about to bond beneath the full moon. I closed my eyes. My heart hurt so much I could barely breathe. I had tried so hard. I had poured so much care into this ceremony, trying to make every detail perfect. I wanted a perfect ceremony. I wanted to prove that I was worth being remembered by the man I loved. But in the end, I was still outside the frame. My phone lit up and went dark, then lit up again. Messages kept coming into the group chat. I didn’t reply. No one cared. I sent my assigned pack escort back, then drove alone to the apartment I rented. On the refrigerator was a sticky note I had written myself. Seven days until the bonding ceremony. I peeled it off, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it into the trash. Chapter 2 The next morning, I opened my phone. There were 99+ messages in the bonding ceremony group chat. I looked at the only voice message where Celeste had tagged me and hesitated for a moment before tapping it open. “Elowen, I changed the ceremony song for you. The one you picked was too depressing. A bonding ceremony should feel lighter.” Right after that came Ronan’s text. Yeah, the original one wasn’t right. I think Celeste’s lighter choice is better. The original one was not right? I had spent an entire month choosing that song. It was the song my parents had played at their wedding. Every time I heard it, my eyes would sting. My parents had died too young, and I had wanted them to be present in another way. Ronan knew that. Celeste knew that, too. And still, they thought it was too depressing. In the group chat, Celeste was still saying, “Elowen never likes making decisions. We can just decide these things for her.” Ronan replied with one word. Okay. I stared at that word and did not move. Messages flowed past one after another like running water. No one noticed that Elowen was in the group. No one noticed that Elowen had said nothing. My participation in this bonding ceremony was zero. I opened my chat with Ronan. Our conversation was still stuck on yesterday. I had told him, I’m a little nervous. He had sent back a head-patting sticker. As for the fact that I had left early, he had not even messaged me privately to ask what happened. He had only tagged me in the group chat last night. What happened? Were you so nervous you left early? No one answered. That didn’t matter either. Celeste posted a photo with the caption: Elowen, the styling shoot went so well today. The Luna gown is confirmed! And just like that, everything was brushed aside. Then they moved on to talking about laurel decorations, bonding invitations, and the ceremony backdrop. Suddenly, I felt that my place was not even extra. Extra meant I had at least existed once. I felt as if I had never been there at all. While I was packing my things, Celeste suddenly video-called me. I answered. On the screen, someone was doing her makeup. “Elowen, you’re taking forever. The styling team still hasn’t been confirmed, so I booked one myself. I’m testing the look first.” I looked at Celeste sitting in front of the mirror. I wanted to say something, but I did not know what to say. Two weeks ago, I had told her that my friend would personally do my bonding makeup. But it was as if she could not hear my thoughts at all. She simply decided everything for me. Had I never questioned her? Had I never been unhappy? Had I never stood up for myself? I had. But in the end, I was always given the same sentence. “Elowen, you’ve always been more mature than she is. Don’t argue with her over this.” Kieran had known me the longest, yet he always stood on her side. Then Ronan appeared and pursued me fiercely. That Alpha, known among wolves for being calm, powerful, and impossible to defy, would personally drive me home late at night and say I was adorably dazed. I thought he liked that quiet part of me. But after he met Celeste, his taste seemed to change. Without me realizing it, his words changed, too. He began saying that girls should be lively and decisive. One day, I could not hold it in anymore. “Can you stop being so close to Celeste all the time? Can you pay attention to boundaries?” I thought he would understand. Instead, he took it lightly, smiling as he rubbed my hair. “Boundaries? After you and I complete our bond, Celeste will also be under Blackridge Pack’s protection. Do you want me to treat her like a rogue at our borders?” I fell silent. Of course I did not want them to be enemies. “You’re more mature than she is. You should be more understanding.” That sentence had weighed on me for so many years that, for the first time, I felt like I could barely breathe. They had forgotten that I was only two years older than she was. I wanted a gift, too. I wanted someone to ask me, Do you like this? But no one ever cared. Chapter 3 I called my landlord and told him I was moving out today. On the other end, he asked, “You’re really leaving? You’ve lived there for more than four years.” Yes. Four years already. When Ronan and I first confirmed our relationship, he wanted me to move into Blackridge Pack’s Alpha residence with him. The main house was heavily guarded, home to his most trusted Beta, Gamma, and core warriors. Celeste said I should keep some private space for myself and suggested that I live alone. So I rented an apartment near Blackridge’s downtown offices, hoping I would see him more often. Ronan agreed. Sometimes, after he finished dealing with Pack matters, he would come here late at night and stay until morning. This place was filled with the sweetness of our early love, then with our arguments, our silences, and the sight of his back as he hurried away. But now, I had gathered enough disappointment. I had made up my mind to leave. “Yes,” I said. “I’m moving today.” The landlord sighed and told me to leave the keys in the mailbox. Not long after I hung up, the door was pushed open from outside. Ronan and Celeste walked in, laughing and talking. Celeste turned back and smiled at him. “You promised. After my lease ends, I can stay in your Alpha residence for a few weeks after the bonding. Save me the room in Moonshadow East Wing, the one with the bay window. And change the curtains to the pink I like.” I stood in the middle of the living room, wondering if I had heard her wrong. She said it so naturally, as if how long she would stay and how our home after the bonding would be decorated were both things she had the right to decide. Ronan did not object. His smile was indulgent. “Elowen won’t mind.” “Elowen always takes care of me. Of course she won’t mind.” I stood there, and something in my throat seemed to loosen. “What if I say I do mind?” The air went quiet for two seconds. Celeste froze. Perhaps it was the first time I had ever refused her. Before she even spoke, her eyes were already red. Ronan’s voice carried a note of reproach. “Elowen, what’s wrong with you? Usually you can’t wait to give her everything. Now you’re arguing over a single room?” “I’m not arguing,” I said. “Then what do you mean?” He frowned. “Celeste’s lease happens to be ending. She’ll only stay for a few weeks. She’s your sister, not some outsider we need to guard against. The Alpha residence is so big. What’s wrong with letting one more person stay for a while?” “That is supposed to be our home after the bonding,” I said. “The home meant for Blackridge Pack’s Luna. Who exactly is bonding with you?” Ronan choked on that. Celeste said softly, her eyes red, “Elowen, I just wanted to be closer to you. If you don’t want me there, forget it. I won’t move in.” Ronan looked at me with blame in his eyes. “Look at you. One sentence and you’ve hurt her this much. She’s your sister. Can’t you think about her?” “Then who thinks about me?” I lifted my head. “You personally arranged for her to enter Blackridge Pack’s External Affairs Office. You approved resources for her far beyond what others at her level receive. She hardly has to worry about anything. And me? I only have—” “Enough!” Ronan’s expression changed. “Be reasonable. She’s your sister. I only took special care of her because of you. Do you really have to be so petty?” Petty. That word again. I smiled and said nothing. Celeste tugged at his sleeve and whispered, “Ronan, stop. Elowen is probably just in a bad mood.” He patted her hand, and his tone softened. “Elowen, I’ve already decided. Celeste moving in is a good thing. You two sisters can stay close even after the bonding.” I nodded. Whatever. It was your home anyway. I would not be living there. Ronan let out a breath of relief. Celeste wiped the corner of her eye, though no tears had fallen, and smiled again. I turned to continue packing. Behind me came Celeste’s voice. “Can I really change the curtains to light pink?” Ronan’s voice was full of amusement. “Whatever you like.” Chapter 4 That afternoon, I went to Blackridge Pack’s Affairs Hall. The air inside carried the scent of cedar, leather, and the faint wolfish edge drifting up from the training grounds. I placed the access token to the Alpha residence, the key to his private Alpha study, and several Pack alliance documents he had once asked me to organize into a bag, then asked the receptionist to pass it on. When the receptionist at the Affairs Hall saw me, she immediately straightened. “Miss Ashborne, you’re here? I’ll notify Alpha Ronan.” “No need.” I set the bag on the front desk. “Just give this to him for me.” With that, I turned and left. When I reached the staircase with its dark carpet, I accidentally heard Ronan’s voice. His tone, warm and patient, drifted through the wall. “You want me to go with you on Saturday to get your nails done?” Celeste answered in a coaxing voice. “Yes. Can you?” My fingers stiffened. A second later, his voice came from behind the half-closed door, carrying a smile. “Of course. You want to look beautiful at the bonding ceremony. I’ll go with you. I’ll explain to Elowen.” I gave a bitter smile. I had already decided to let go. What was I still expecting? Before the bonding, Ronan and I had agreed to finally do the one thing we had never managed to do while we were in love—watch a sunrise together. But from winter to spring, all the way until the ceremony was almost here, he kept putting it off, saying he was busy and that we would go next time. At last, we had set it for this Saturday. Now he was putting it off again. But this time, I no longer cared. I pushed open the glass doors and drove straight back to Silvercove, the seaside town in Maine where I grew up. The next day, I was cleaning the old house my parents had left behind. Aunt Maren and Uncle Alden lived nearby, and Maren came over early. She held my hand and patted it gently. “Elowen, all these years, you were always the one asked to be mature, the one asked to give way. You’ve suffered too much.” Maren sighed, as if she had thought about this for a long time before finally saying it. “Celeste may have been adopted by your parents, but you’ve treated her like your own sister all these years. You’ve given her everything, and that child has never known when to stop.” She wiped the corner of her eye. “Now you’re both grown. You’re about to start your own family and your own life. Don’t keep putting her first like you used to.” I smiled and did not answer. She was right. I would no longer put anyone first. Not even Ronan. After a while, I said, “Aunt, you and Uncle should move in here. A house falls apart if no one lives in it.” Maren froze. “What do you mean no one lives in it?” “I know you and Ronan will live in the Alpha residence after the bonding, but you’ll still need somewhere to stay when you come back to visit us.” I said yes, but I still insisted that she move in. Maren thought I was only being polite and refused a few times. I did not explain. I only thought that after I left, I did not know how many years it would be before I came back. That evening, Ronan arrived as promised for the family dinner before the bonding ceremony. Several pack warriors stood guard outside the yard, while Celeste stood beside him like the woman he was about to bond with and walked into the living room at his side. When they saw me, both of them clearly froze. “Elowen, why are you here?” His tone made it sound as if I should not have been in this place. But I was the one who was supposed to become Luna. The family dinner before the bonding ceremony had been arranged at my uncle’s house. Wasn’t it perfectly normal for me to be here tonight? Oh. He was probably used to it by now. Whether I was there or not did not matter. As long as Celeste was there, that was enough. Celeste smiled and looped her arm through mine. “Elowen, perfect, you’re here too. Ronan said he was coming to see Uncle Alden, and I had nothing to do, so I came along.” I said nothing. Celeste did not like Silvercove and rarely came back to the seaside town where we had grown up. Now, so close to the bonding ceremony, she had come back. I was genuinely surprised. Whether it was for me, her sister, or for something else, no longer mattered. In the living room, Uncle Alden exchanged a few polite words with Ronan. Celeste sat beside Ronan, pouring his coffee and answering questions for him, as if she were his future mate. I was like an unnecessary piece of furniture. I sat there, and no one looked at me twice. I lowered my head and glanced at my phone. He had sent me a message. I’ve been busy with Pack matters and the bonding ceremony these past two days, so I neglected you. But why didn’t you tell me you went back to Silvercove? Neglected me? The tone sounded more like he thought I was being inconsiderate, running off alone without sense. He was always active in the group chat, laughing and talking with everyone. He would reply to Celeste between Elders’ meetings, but he rarely asked me privately, Have you eaten? What are you doing? Are you happy? So he did not know I had gone to Blackridge headquarters. He did not know I had returned to Silvercove. He did not know, because he had never asked. My fingers moved. I replied with two words. You’re busy. After all, what kept him busy no longer had anything to do with me. ... After the family dinner, Alden stood to see the guests off and reminded Ronan, “You two shouldn’t see each other for the next few days before the bonding ceremony. Leave a little anticipation for each other.” Ronan nodded. When he looked at me, a trace of tenderness passed through his eyes. Alden turned to me. “Elowen, go back with them. Stay in the bridal suite we reserved near Blackridge territory before the ceremony, so you don’t have to keep driving back and forth. After the bonding, come back for the family dinner.” I wanted to say no, but when I saw the hope in his eyes, I swallowed the words. I went back first to get my suitcase and make sure I had not left anything behind. But by the time I stepped out of the yard, Ronan’s car was already gone. I stood at the doorway for two seconds. Then I looked down at my phone. Ronan had sent a message. Celeste was in a hurry to check the ceremony setup and patrol arrangements, so I took her there first. I forgot you were still here for a moment. Drive back on your own. Forgot? Ronan, how many times had you forgotten me already? I drove away. I did not return to Boston. I went somewhere very, very far away. The bonding was set for the following Monday. Blackridge Pack had invited nearly every influential pack representative on the East Coast. The sacred clearing behind the Pack House was guarded more tightly than any full-moon council meeting. Ronan glanced at the navigation and turned to Celeste. “The hotel address for picking up Elowen is correct, right?” “Yes. I compared them one by one. This hotel is upscale and close to Blackridge territory. Picking her up here is much more convenient than going to her apartment.” Ronan nodded. “You’re always so thorough. Unlike Elowen. Uncle only told us not to see each other for a few days before the bonding ceremony to leave some anticipation, but she won’t even answer my messages.” The Beta sitting in the front seat glanced at him through the rearview mirror, then silently looked away. Ronan opened the door of the black SUV. Celeste naturally sat in the front passenger seat. “Let’s go. Elowen will start rushing us soon.” Kieran’s voice came from outside the car. “Celeste, that seat is for the bride. Ride with me.” “No.” Celeste turned back and made a face at him. “Ronan drives the smoothest. I won’t get carsick.” Ronan shook his head with a smile. “You’re impossible.” The escort vehicles turned into the hotel entrance. The warriors responsible for ceremony patrol immediately stepped aside. Ronan walked ahead, surrounded by his people, looking pleased and certain. Celeste followed at his side, while two pack guards stayed half a step behind. Kieran lifted his camera and instinctively took several shots of their backs. The hotel receptionist politely stopped them. “Hello. May I ask who you are here for?” “I’m the Alpha of Blackridge Pack. Today is our bonding ceremony, and I’m here to pick up my Luna.” Ronan gave the room number. “302. Her name is Elowen Ashborne.” The receptionist checked the records, then looked up. “I’m sorry. The room was reserved, but Miss Ashborne never checked in.” The smile on Ronan’s face froze.
